Get Stuffed.

A Semi-Open Letter to Former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin

Dear Former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin:

I love you. I really do. I am so excited that you will be working for Fox News, as any American with half a brain knows that the only honest and reliable news comes from Fox. I think you are the greatest. You were the best thing about the McCain campaign, and, as we all know, were the only reason his race for the White House got so far. You brought life and light into that mothball-encrusted, dead-end attempt for the Presidency. I don’t care what the naysayers shout—You saved McCain and you were the only reason anyone kept interest. Why, even your charity auction Cabbage Patch Doll went for triple that of the others, even more so than Joe Biden’s doll which didn’t even crack a grand. But was that really surprising? I’m really glad though. That pompous ass needs to come down a notch or ten. It just goes to show you that you have star – or presidential – potential. Palin 2012!!!

Can I also say that I truly think Katie Couric should get down on her knees and kiss the ground you walk on in thanks for saving her drowning career. We all know CBS was getting ready to sort that mistake—until her venomous and deliberate attack-dog interview with you. I would have behaved in the same vein. The nerve of her, insinuating you don’t read and have no clue about what’s going on in the world outside of Alaska. Obviously her mother didn’t raise her right.

But as much as I would love to go on about how great I think you are, the real reason for this letter is to ask you for an autographed photo of yourself (preferably in one of the pink jacket outfits you looked so beautiful in during the campaign). I teach in a very liberal college and my colleagues really hate you. I will not repeat what they say as it is not fitting for a lady of your stature. The women are the worst. I’m not surprised though, they must be so jealous of your beauty and ability to hold down a career and a family successfully. I would love nothing more than to one day hang an autographed photo of you in my office—not only to piss my colleagues off, but to show my support for the first female President of the United States of America! Palin 2012!!! I really hope you will run. The Republican Party needs a contender like you. You have my vote and full support.

I would be so honored if you granted my wish for that autographed photo of yourself. It would really mean so much.

All the best to you (Palin 2012!!!)

Faithfully, Truly, Sincerely Yours,

Brian Centrone
Proud Card Carrying Republican Since 1998

P. S. I didn’t vote for Bush. I saw that train wreck coming from a mile away.

1 Comment

  1. Patti says:

    Lol. I love that ending! It made me giggle. :-p