Get Stuffed.

Resolutions

In the spirit of inspiration I have decided to create a listof New Year Resolutions Chloe Sevigny (Drew Droege) style, while making them my own. If you have yet to be exposed to his hysterical take on everyone’s favorite avant-garde, fashionista, indi-film actress, then you have been missing out.  

I resolve to:
Only wear John Varvatos shoes that are two sizes too big…myfeet swell.
When at the gym, find suitable candidates to become mybrother husbands.
Reconsider Alfani and Aldo as designer brands.
Tweet @officialadele and ask her to be friends. Done.
Marry the night.
Question the ‘thought’ part of “It’s the thought thatcounts.”
Eat cheese after every meal, even when the meal is cheese.
Let nothing come between me and my Calvins.
Learn French, go to France, and French a boi.
Continue to wait for my signed photo of Sarah Palin in herpink power suit. Did you get my letter?
Write an essay on the Politics of Dancing.

Porn.

What do you resolve??? 

2 Comments

  1. Cherise says:

    love it!

    here's a few:

    give peace an actual chance.
    learn to love thy (obnoxious, cringe worthy, sorry excuse for a human being) neighbor.
    Realize that muffin tops are not just a food item.
    Take a walk on the wild side.
    First, find the wild side.
    Realize that a normal "sale" at Barney's is original price $595.00 shoes reduced to $565.00 really is a bargain by their standards.

  2. Love your last resolution! It's true!

    Here's a bonus:

    Find a couple, and finish their sentences.